IUGR

It sat there in black and white IURG, I saw it and it hit me. Inter uterine growth restriction. Why did this upset me? We knew Abby had stopped growing, but seeing IUGR on my discharge letter made me cry. I couldn't grow my baby, my body failed her, my body nearly killed her. Where did it go wrong? Ruby was an average 7lb 2oz, Angus on 5lb 14oz, did this happen with him too?

I have spent a week or so questioning,  blaming myself, hating myself. But thanks to modern technology and medicine Abby is here, alive and well albeit small. So I didn't get to put her first nappy on, her first outfit,  I didn't get to hold her first. But I get to hold her for life, I got to meet her 3 weeks early. This time is extra time with her, we got to be a family a little sooner than planned. I didn't grow her as well as I grew Ruby but I nurtured her. I carried her, I loved her from the second I knew she was in there just as I did her brother and sister. She was born from love, she will grow with love, she is love. I could dwell on the negative and become negative or I can bask in the love she provides.