Sleep

My baby mostly gets 8 hours sleep, but mama doesn't. Why? Because I'm a peeper! I stare at her in amazement, wondering what little thing she is learning in her sleep. I watch her hand open and close as she practices grasping. Her little lips make a suckling motion as she dreams of milk. Her expressions chance, she grimices and smiles. She is a little under 4 months old, 4 months have flown by. I wonder where the time has gone and what I've done. I know I've spent my days watching her, teaching her. I've spent a good majority of the last 4 months just watching, she is a wonder. She is precious and she warms ny heart.

She sleeps 8 hours and I long for her to wake. Such a change from the early days of being tired and wanting sleep. I almost wish I could go back and tell myself to enjoy the night feeds, they don't last forever. But I thought I had longer than this! I thought I had longer with Angus, I thought we had life. Well we had life, his but I thought we would have all of mine. So now at night I peep, I linger a little longer before putting her to bed. When she is in bed my arms long to hold her.

Night feeds are the best! I lay there with her little face staring at me while she is nomming on my breasts. I can tell by her eyes she is happy, like me she enjoys these moments. There is no one else in the world, just us, in the moment. I am blessed, I know this and I treasure this. This child, having only been in my life 4 months, feels like she belongs. She is a piece of me, the best piece.