89 days

We are down to 89 days until our EDD, while excited I'm ever so nervous. Roo is such an active little baby I think that's her way of reassuring me. It's like every little kick is her saying "it's ok mama, I'm here to stay". I don't remember Angus being this active, perhaps I now pay more attention to it, maybe I took it for granted with Angus after a while. But while at the beginning my pregnancies seemed so similar with such awful sickness I'm starting to see the little differences. Both my babies have such different personalities, Angus was calm and relaxed rather content like his daddy. Roo however is much more active, non-stop at times more like me, oh dear we could be in for a handful! I love this little child so much, every passing day I feel more and more connected. I feared before falling pregnant that I wouldn't connect, that I wouldn't love our next baby in the same way due to the fear of another loss. But from the moment I saw her on the screen at 6+5 weeks I was smitten! Nothing more than a sac and a bean with a rapid heartbeat, but to us she was our rainbow, our future, our child. Like Angus she was made with love a pure love.

My husband has been fantastic, without him I'd be lost. I have only admiration and love for him, I want nothing more than to give him children and make him happy. I love him all the more because he's given me Angus and Roo. While both are not here yet and one never will be here again, they are our babies. My life is filled with much love and all things considered I am happy. I cannot wait to hold this much loved, much wanted baby. This beautiful rainbow, oh how life will change. I pray we aren't changed the same way that we were by Angus, there are no promises I know that. Having a baby doesn't mean bringing up a child but we must think positive and little Roo seems to know something as she kicks the laptop as I type. The cheeky little monkey! She is my whole world, our whole world all warm and snug inside my womb, we will see you soon little Roo.